SAdhanA

A journey of a man in search of the universe and the universe in search of a man. Note : Unlike my previous works, this is not a wild flower. It is a diamond to be cut and polished till it shines in all directions. Therefore criticisms and editing ideas are welcome (That should please Sumant, I guess ;-)).

August 18, 2005

A stray drop of nectar
that had wandered away with a will of its own
landed on the Woman
The drop slid off Her forehead,
stayed in momentary indecision over Her nose
and decided on Her lips.
Then,
her tongue lashed out like an enraged serpent.
Her wild locks now let go of the skies as she descended towards the tree.
The artist's eye looked up at Her feet.
And when the dust of Her feet cemented Her feet and His eye,
firm earth was born.
She stood there with Her tongue extending like a sword from Her mouth,
the branches of the tree rising behind Her like fingers
She stood there on the artist's eye.

Republishing the previous post after Sumant's editing help!!

June 16, 2005

One stray drop of nectar
that had wandered away with a will of its own
now landed on the woman.
The drop slid through Her forehead,
stayed in a momentary indecision over Her nose
and finally landed on Her lips.
Her lips got the taste of the nectar.
Then...
Like an enraged serpent Her tongue lashed out.
It stood there extended like a red flame from Her mouth
and She gradually descended.
The eye of the artist now lay at Her feet
and as Her feet fixed themselves on His eye,
firm earth was born.
She stood there with Her tongue lashing,
the branches of the tree rising behind Her like fingers of a giant witch.
She stood there on the artist's eye.

June 14, 2005

News

A small digression...another BLOG opened

http://offnoimportance.blogspot.com

You can find the URL in my profile as well!!

June 02, 2005

She lay there crouched in a foetal position
on top of the flower like a pole star.
Her face buried in her knees, Her arms holding her ankle,
Her hair covering Her like a chrysalis,
She lay there.
The eye of the artist blinked once.
The woman awoke now like a sleeping eagle awakening with the first drop of rain.
She unfolded like knowledge does before the man who has killed his pride.
And as She bloomed, the flower faded beneath Her.
She stood now at full height.
The flower had disappeared.
Her hands lay crossed across Her breasts.
Her eyes closed in an expression of silence,
Her hair flying about Her wildly playing with the skies
like the rays of a dark wavering sun,
She stood there.

May 30, 2005

The eye of the cosmos saw the nectar dropping into the flower.
A sudden throb appeared in Her.
She craved to reach the flower...
She looked around feverishly at the winds.
The winds gently pushed Her towards the flower.
She came closer and closer to the nectar.
The winds dropped Her on the flower like a mother bird dropping twigs on her nest.
Slowly She sank inside the flower, drowning in the nectar.
She lay there drinking the nectar
And then the nectar flowed out of the flower
precipitated by desire.
It fell on the artist's eye, it fell on the tree.
It fell everywhere.
The flower wilted and began its descent downwards.
It touched the ocean of nectar below.
And then from the flower bloomed a woman...a woman clad in pure white...

May 26, 2005

And there was more room to fill...

May 24, 2005

A white untainted flower
A flower that smiled with an unearthly expression
The flower played with the winds like a child chasing will o wisps
A gentle fragrance was awakened in the flower.
It travelled the void on the winds.
It moved about with grace like a serpent sliding through grass
It touched the eyes of the cosmos and the artist...a smile was born on the eyes.
It touched the two lights of the skies...calmness descended upon them.
It then teased the stream of nectar.
It touched and yet touched not the stream.
It played with the stream like a charmer charming a cobra.
The stream now changed course and chased the fragrance.
It followed the redolence like enchantment.
The fragrance led it gently to the flower.
In a gushing motion, the nectar fell on the flower.
Stream after stream the nectar filled the tiny flower.
Yet nothing overflowed.
For ages the nectar flowed and for ages the flower drank.
And yet there was room to spare.

May 23, 2005

The winds wandered aimlessly
They explored the directions like the finger of a shy girl tracing her lover.
A single breath of the breeze kissed the sapling.
Life had now touched it
In sudden joy the sapling burst forth like a cascade ripping up suddenly.
The eye of the cosmos blinked once
and the sapling was an immense tree.
The tree now stood silently,
a physical form of the Pranavam.
The trunk blazed like raging fire.
Its roots shot through the universe
like a million dark venomous serpents.
Its branches convoluted in myriad shapes.
It leaves were ever wilting.
It stood there like an inexplicable mystery.
A form that deceived and ensnared.
A single branch of the tree stretched perilously.
Like Cupid's arrow it darted and plunged into the eyes of the cosmos and the artist.
In that moment of pain, the eye of the cosmos touched the many eyes of the artist.
The first touch of a chance encounter
The first touch of placid innocence.
The first touch of naive union.
A spark was born
A spark of pure knowledge; of consciouness
The unbound winds carried the spark to the topmost branch of the tree.
The spark rested there like a pole star.
The eyes waited in anticipation, in desire
In a sudden moment of truth, the spark blossomed into a flower.

May 20, 2005

The seed lay split asunder.
A tender sprout peeked from it, a bud of curiosity.
Pranavam began to take form.
Then, as the cosmos watched, as the artist watched,
there sprouted a sapling, a sapling with a single leaf holding precariously.
The sound of Pranavam now settled on the leaf
like a Yogi meditating in the lotus position.
The wandering note now became focussed.
Focussed on a single atom...a single atom which swayed under the power of the note.
A single atom in which the skies lay curled up in convolutions.
Gently the atom unfurled, evolved.
It grew in circles releasing energy it knew not it had.
Seven circles burst forth from the atom and widened into seven skies.
A glow was born when the seventh sky lay open.
A glow like no other...a glow that blinded the eyes of the cosmos and the artist.
A glow that lay refulgent and blazing.
A glow that was like a thousand suns blazing in the shape of a lotus.
And now a stream of light flowed from the glow.
A stream that slowly became a river.
A river of nectar which watered the sapling.
Pranavam now steadied itself on the gurgle of this stream.
Jal Jal Jal Jal went the stream speaking with the silence of the eyes.
It caressed the sapling and overflowed.
From the skies rained nectar on the sapling.
The blazing glow now cooled into a second light
A cooler light from which the nectar still flowed.
The two glows now bathed the sapling in light and nectar.
The sapling trembled in anticipation, setting of another vibration.
A vibration which unleashed the tame winds.
The winds burst forth with grace like fragrance from a blossom.

A small digression...

As of now most of you would have got wind of where I'm going in this Genesis section. The cantos so far (and a few more cantos to come in the future) are an attempt at visualizing creation. Not just creation of the universe but the creation of anything - a child, a thought or even this poem. As the BLOG title says, the poem is a journey of man in search of the universe and the universe in search of man. The poem starts with the division of the one into many and ends with the many uniting in the one. It is an artist's view of our Adhvaitha sidhAntham. The reason I'm pausing to explain here is to show the process and the common threads that run through the cantos so far.

To start of with, the first few cantos depict void and stillness. There is an essential nada, nihil at the beginning. This is the primordial nirguna brahman, the Sivam which is in more than one sense a Savam (corpse). And then as we see, an eye is opened and light is born. Now both the opening of the eye and light being born are expressions of knowledge. Therefore, the nirguna brahman which stays inert now gets its first sensation, first gunA that is knowledge. What knowledge is this? Knowledge of itself. Knowledge that is put in the words 'Aham brahmAsmi' (Not to mention the pun between eye and I). Where am I proceeding from here? From knowledge shall result desire and from desire action...gyAna sakthi, ichA sakthi and then kriyA sakthi.

But again if you read through the cantos, nowhere have I yet endeavoured to show that this inert brahman realizing itself. It is this process of obtaining this knowledge that is being described now. And this process proceeds by the acquisition of senses. The first sense sight happens when the eye meets the light. This results in the seed of knowledge being born. This seed of knowledge then bursts into the very first sound - the Pranavam. Here we have the next sense born, the sense of hearing. Of course there is no ear described which is hearing this sound, but anyways I'm not concerned with describing the physiology associated here.

Now along with these senses, you can also observe the thread of the elements coming in one after the other. Sight is born and it results in the flame in the eye of the cosmos. Pranavam opens up the seven skies (the relation between sound and the sky is very deep in Hindu philosophy). Then there is water that flows in the form of nectar and lastly the winds being released in the recent canto. One flaw here is that there is no pattern in the evolution of the elements like typically it should start form the sky (that which has no form, no movement and is in fact closest to a void) then wind (that which has no form but can move and can be felt), then water, fire and earth. I know I have gone off the track here, but I thought it much better to adhere to my initial flow of thoughts. There might be a reason why this sequence occurred to me and I can if I try to sit and think explain the reason as well, but laziness rules!!!

And now to this particular canto which has been put today. I have mentioned the skies bursting open. Here, I have taken a small risk, a slight venture into something that I revere and crave but have made no attempts at all. Let me reiterate. The seven skies as described lay curled up in an atom and then burst open revealing a glow from which nectar flows. This nectar cools the glow resulting in a second glow. It is not difficult to guess the idea of Kundalini suggested here what with the obvious reference to the sahasraRa, the thousand petaled lotus. It was a freak imagination an attempt to think of the sun and the moon as results of the Kundalini awakening in the brahman itself. I have specifically not used any technical term in the canto because my own knowledge or experience there is nil.

That brings us to another point. Because I'm trying to portray adhvaitic ideas here or because I refer to some practices adhered in this wonderful philosophy, do not assume that I know anything of it or I practice it. My knowledge in this is almost completely factual. Which consequently means that I might be wrong and inadequate more often than not. But this poem is not a Yogi's visions or experiences. It is merely a poet's imagination of what he desires deeply in spite of his penury and callousness; in spite of him being aware of how lowly and unspiritual a creature he is. Therefore, he prays with sincere love and devotion (though his sincerity maybe tainted with ignorance) that his faults be forgiven.

Back to the cantos from tomorrow...

P.S. Perhaps I should pause to explain the poem once in a way like this so that at least one person gets a clearer idea of it…which is me!! ;-)

May 19, 2005

The fruit fell on the artist's eye.
Light chased and watered it.
Darkness and death formed its fertile soil.
The eye swallowed the fruit.
A sudden flash of light cut the fruit like lightning severing the dark clouds.
Inside was a seed...
a golden seed set with rubies.
A golden seed on the verge of sprouting, tremulous and throbbing.
The seed of life nourished by death.
The seed of consciousness cared for by ignorantly.
It trembled and quivered like a living heart.
The seed was revealed to the gaze by light.
The seed shook as the gaze intensified.
Once again, light met the gaze and the seed was split asunder.
The seed burst open and sound was born.
The sound of Pranavam, the cosmic note,
The first drone, the primordial music
The resonating note branched and filled the universe.
It sought every nook and corner.
Every atom, every molecule vibrated with it.
The black flame glowing in the eye of cosmos shook violently with the resounding note.
And then like a shy peacock unfurling its tail for the monsoon,
cosmos opened Her eye.
The eye of the artist had opened the eye of the cosmos.

May 18, 2005

The stare grew intense.
It peered into the void
piercing the darkness, probing through death
It cut through the null like a dark sword cutting through nihil.
Yet nothing happened.
For it was but a mere gaze, a stare into the void.
A fierce gaze it was a gaze that searched and probed
A gaze that grew severe, a gaze that burned like a dark flame.
Suddenly a tiny beam of light awoke.
For the gaze had sparked a flame, a tiny flame of fierce anger
A single spark of mad fury that
seethed and simmered, glimmered and glowed.
Its rage was the rage of ignorance, ignorance that knows not itself.
The blaze now sought all directions.
It searched, searched not knowing what was to be revealed by its light.
The gaze searched searched not knowing what was to be revealed to its sight.
Then in a freak second, the gaze met the spark.
Now was meaning born in the artist's mind.
The gaze groped frantically while the spark followed blindly.
The spark held the gaze in its embrace.
Light manifested itself and made sight meaningful.
Life woke languidly like a tired lover waking from night's passion.
Time set her wheels rolling, slowly and yet steadily.
Death freed her clutches on life like a satiated man.
The fruit of consciousness became ripe and dropped of the tree of ignorance.

P.S. I shall be posting more regularly now...

March 22, 2005

Again the speck opened its eye
A vision flickered stuttered as though it would fade
but steadied itself in a vague way
The eye was now open and it did not blink
Sight was not yet born for light did not move.
Yet eye gazed
The eye gazed while the void expanded
The eye gazed while darkness handicapped vision
Then it blinked but for a brief second
With that blink, another speck opened its eye
The gaze grew fiercer.
The eyes blinked again
and again another eye was opened
Thus the void awakened
and the mind of the unborn artist lay with its infinite eyes open

March 07, 2005

It was then that a tiny speck in a tiny atom of the infinite mind opened its eye.
It saw but did not know.
A single gleam of light flickered and died before it was even felt.
Stillness seemed to rule again.
The speck appeared dead and nothing happened for an eternity.
Time seemed to have fluttered to consciousnesss before vanishing into oblivion.
Life had made a feeble attempt at birth before returning to death's coil.
A silent thought twitched and promptly forgot itself.
A single breath of spring had risen from the womb of cosmos and died before it moved.
Void once again claimed her throne.
The wait stretched.

March 03, 2005

His mind waited trying to decide if it were asleep or dead.
For this sleep seemed like death and death like a mere sleep.
Knowledge was on an exile
Voids sparked from voids
In his mind,
there was no turbulence
yet no peace
In his mind,
there was no activity
yet no rest
In his mind,
there was no light
yet no darkness
His mind lay lost somewhere
between life and death
Between dream and sleep
his mind lay lost somewhere
For in that hour before time had realized herself
life had not yet died
and death was but just born
For in that hour before time had realized herself,
life held death in a lover's kiss
and death clasped life in a passionate embrace
The mind of the unborn artist held its breath in infinite patience
waiting to come into existence.

February 28, 2005

1. Genesis


Ulagam yAvaiyum thAm uLavAkkalum
nilai peruththalum nIngalum nIngalA
alagu illA viLaiyAttu utaiyAr avar
thalaivar annavar saraN nAngaLE - pAyiram, kambarAmAyaNam

We surrender to that flawless Lord who as a game manifests Himself in all the worlds, multiplies them and removes them.

The universe lay slumbering curled up in her own womb.
For it was the hour before time had realized herself.
Sleep dared not stir in that silence
and life lay hidden behind the shadows of death.
The fires of the sun were lost in the darkness of inertia.
Consciousness was drunk in her own dreams;
dreams of an infinite void.
The primordial note remained mute.
A single black flame glowed
unwavering from the closed eye of the cosmos.
All the winds waited tamely
while the sky shrunk itself into an atom.
Stillness pervaded itself and wore the crown of silence.
Memories spread like dead corpses
and imagination knew not what she was.
Eternity stretched over the cosmos.
An all pervasive void glimmered over the edge of time.
The mind of the unborn artist rested in a silent phlegm.
No thought stirred; No memory flashed in it.
No dream bloomed; No imagination arose.

To be continued...

Footnote :

Contextual meaning of some words in the quoted Tamil poem

Alagu - flaw
Peruththal - Multiply
Thalaivar - Leader, Lord
NIngal - To remove
PAyiram - The first song of an epic poem written in praise of the Lord

February 25, 2005

The Journey Begins

Prologue - The Charioteer


AsatomA sat Gamayah...

The rebellious horses paw the ground impatiently
The uncertain flag flutters waveringly
The armies lined up are waiting in expectation
The afternoon sun scorches the field in fury
A single bead of sweat breaks free from my brow and lands on the bow
Doubt creeps up my spine and finds a corner in my head
I look up at the sky seeking an answer
The refulgent sun blinds my eyes
I bow down in shame and angst
My eyes perceive the dark form seated in front of me
I try to grip the handle of the bow harder
My palms sweat
The GAndivA slips down
Now, O PArthasArathy you let go of the reins
and turn to face me with a peaceful smile.

This marks the begininng of a long poem which will be presented in cantos, the journey that this BLOG is supposed to take, a SAdhanA of a SAdhakA.

February 24, 2005

SthOthiram


Om nama pranavArtaya
shuddah gyAnaika rupine
nirmalAya prashAnthAya
dakshinA moorthaye namaha

O, God of learning
you who are the meaning of the Pranavam,
you who are of the form of pure knowledge,
you who are without flaw and of eternal bliss,
to you I surrender.